


Pulse

by Causa



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6816583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causa/pseuds/Causa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>It had been ages since she had felt such fire in her limbs.</i><br/>The events of The Return/Jailbreak from Pearl's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulse

It had been ages since Pearl had felt such fire in her limbs. The distance to that large, orange-red mass was closing and she gripped the end of her spear tighter. When she saw it toss Steven's body aside her trajectory changed and she moved faster than she ever had as she screamed, hardly hearing Amethyst crying her name. Her weapon flung away, she shakily felt for the boy's pulse; it was there, thank the stars, of course it was there, but his face was already swelling and _how could she have let this happen?_

She cradled his head in her hands until the ground under her grew dark in shadow and she tightened her hold on his unconscious body. 

"Do you know who this is?" she cried. 

"Of course I do," the jasper said, grinning. "Yellow Diamond will be thrilled."

Pearl summoned her spear and, holding it in her left hand, sliced the gem before her, her right arm still wrapped around the boy—but the cut was shallow and afforded her time to do nothing but move away from the jasper's attack, Steven in tow. She rose, standing in front of the boy, and hurled her spear toward the orange gem; it pierced the jasper in the middle, but she removed it with a grunt and charged toward the two. Pearl dropped to the ground, gliding under the large gem's legs, new weapon in hand. Pearl cut the gem through the middle, deeper this time, and the jasper fell to the ground with a grunt, tensing, resisting her body's desire to retreat inward. As Pearl raised her spear, Amethyst's scream invaded her ears, and her head jerked forward, but she saw the gem nowhere. Frantically her eyes darted across the beach, her vision clouding. Then the sand and the sky and the ground and Steven and the green glow of the ship were before her eyes as her head repeatedly struck the ground with enough force to make her dizzy. The jasper stood, dangling Pearl by the ankle, Pearl's vision blurring, head pulsing, body aching. She moaned when she hit the ground. As she began to summon her weapon, she was jerked up by the hair, eye-to-eye with the glowing yellow irises. 

"Pathetic," the jasper spat. "I'd crush you right now if Yellow Diamond couldn't use another pearl." 

Pearl's limbs were heavy and unmoving, her vision narrowed. She could not see Steven or Amethyst as she was dragged to the ship; she felt warmth rush through her, lessening the throbbing in her limbs, when Amethyst spoke through her cell. 

"Jasper is huge, huh, P? Can you imagine if I mashed it up with her?" 

"Amethyst!" 

_She doesn't know what she's talking about. She wasn't there._

"What? I'm just saying." 

Pearl sighed, and it made her core ache. "When Rose and I were starting out, I could kill two jaspers before they noticed," she said after silence, quieting. "Look at me now." 

"Feeling sorry for yourself's not going to get us out of here," Amethyst said. 

Pearl felt her throat tighten. "We can't get out of here." 

"Oh yeah? Did you even try?" 

"Amethyst—"

Pearl heard a loud buzzing and a shriek from Amethyst; she did not hear a second one. 

"These haven't changed in 5,000 years," Pearl said, "but the destabilizers are new." The gems they could not rescue, the fusions she fought, the sadness in Rose's eyes were all she could see and she felt herself getting teary, shook her head, tried to breathe. No use in mourning, she thought. They were dead, had been dead, were far past saving. But Steven wasn't yet. She felt her stomach roiling, felt her chest constrict. "We have to get Steven out of here," she said quietly. 

"No doy," said Amethyst. "What are we gonna do?" 

"I'm positive they've locked Lapis away," Pearl said after silence. "Peridots don't fight. So we only have to worry about Jasper." 

"Oh, no problem," spat Amethyst. 

"When she lets us out," said Pearl, "if you go left and I go right, she can't chase both of us. She'll probably go after—" 

Pearl saw Jasper striking Amethyst, crushing her gem with a fist. 

"Nevermind," she said. "Do whatever she tells you. If it looks like she's getting violent, run. But I think she knows her diamond would probably want to speak with us." She shuddered. "I'll run when I get out. She won't be expecting it. If this ship is anything like the old ones, I'll find him eventually." 

"You're just gonna leave me?" 

"They would separate us anyway," Pearl said. "At least this way we have a chance of finding Steven." 

"What happens after you find him?" said Amethyst. "You can't get him out." 

She could, she thought. She would certainly get cracked in the process, but no matter. 

"And what if you did?" continued Amethyst. "You think they would just let us fly back home?" 

"I know it's a long shot," Pearl said, "but maybe if I got to the control room, I—"

"You think Jasper wouldn't find you by then? Or someone else?" 

Pearl felt her insides shrinking. "I can't go back there," she said. "I know it won't work but I have to try." 

"I thought you wanted to go back!" Amethyst said. "Didn't you spend weeks building that ship?" 

"I—I just wanted to see what had changed. I didn't want to stay there. I can't go back to—to—"

She had no breath. 

"To what?" 

Pearl shook her head. The stares, the touches, that look with raised necks and low eyebrows and turned lips—and she was the lucky one. She was the one who made the others envious and spiteful as they silently looked on at her, at her gem. Rose saved her from it all. Rose—and now Steven, too, saved her from recollecting it. Steven would almost certainly be crushed, or worse. And she would never forgive herself. But what could she do? What could she do? Take on a Jasper? Without Rose? 

"What did Jasper mean?" 

Pearl hardly heard Amethyst. 

"What did she mean," Amethyst repeated, "when she said you were defective and I was a runt?" 

"Amethyst, I don't—" Pearl sighed and looked to her feet. "They're just insults. She was trying to demoralize us." She exhaled deeply. "And it worked." 

"Was—Was I supposed to be bigger? I really am a mistake?" Her voice was cracking. 

"No, Amethyst," Pearl said quietly. "You're wonderful. We all thought you were." 

"No you didn't," shouted Amethyst. "I bet you would've killed me if Rose wasn't there."

"I probably would have," said Pearl, "and it would've been a horrible mistake." 

"Gee, Pearl, thanks." It sounded like she was crying. 

"You wouldn't've survived, anyway, if it weren't for Rose," said Pearl. "She was the reason we went back. But we thought everyone had—" She paused. "Why are you trying to make me feel bad about this? I'm not the one who put you there. It's Homeworld. It's always Homeworld." 

"I don't even know anything about Homeworld!" said Amethyst. "You never tell me anything." 

"I used to." 

"Yeah, and then you just randomly stopped!" 

She couldn't bear not having Rose to calm her down; she hardly ever needed her, then, but not having her made her far more anxious than she had been in years. 

"All you need to know about Homeworld is that you don't want to go there," Pearl said, chest tightening. "We have to get you out of here. We have to get Steven out of here." 

"I thought you said we couldn't," Amethyst said. 

"We're stuck until Jasper comes," Pearl said. "Then—"

"What happens if she catches you?" said Amethyst. 

Pearl sat silent for some time. "You'll probably be crushed," she said. "So will Garnet. They'll take me. Steven—oh, I don't want to think about what Yellow Diamond would want with—" 

She could not finish her sentence. 

"They won't crush you?" said Amethyst. "What makes you so special?" 

Her head was cloudy with memories flashing too fast to process. She felt her breaths quicken, felt her insides shrinking up. 

"They'll either crush me or think I'm exotic," said Pearl, her laughter hurting her stomach. "I don't think anything's changed. But I suppose if we don't take as long to make anymore then they would just do away with me." 

"What are you talking about?" asked Amethyst, her voice high. 

Pearl laughed again, gasping for air. "Nothing important. Nothing you need to know. We just need to—" 

"You never tell me anything!" shouted Amethyst. "You didn't tell me anything about who would be coming on the ship and now I'm stuck here. You didn't tell me anything about myself and I have to learn it from some _stranger!_ You told me the Crystal Gems were warriors when they were just Rose and her band of fuck-ups—me included!" 

"Be quiet, Amethyst," Pearl snapped, heartbeats quickening. "You don't know what you're talking about." 

"Oh, gee. Maybe that's because you don't tell me anything!" she screamed. 

It was silent for a long time. Pearl felt herself crying, faces appearing and dissipating before her, but not Rose's, never Rose's. She blinked her tears away. 

"I'm sorry, Amethyst. Garnet and I should've told you more."

"Then why didn't you?" Her voice was hoarse. 

Pearl sighed. "I promise if we get out of here I'll talk to you. Just—not right now, please. I can't." 

Amethyst did not speak immediately. "Well now I _really_ wanna get out of here," she said eventually. Pearl drew her legs to her chest and did not move until she heard footsteps.


End file.
